Category: Say What

Question: I have less of a current problem and more of a preventative question. I was recently accepted into the university of my choice, but it is halfway around the world from all my friends and family, and I have never been very good at keeping in touch with people. Instant messenger and Facebook help, […]

Question: I have a problem when it comes to being attracted to people. The best way I can explain it is I basically have no “friend zone.” If I have a lot in common with someone, I find myself wanting to be intimate with them. I try to be discerning about the people I actually […]

Question: Next weekend, a woman I consider to be a friend is having a party, and I have not been invited. I can’t help feeling rejected even though I’ve made peace with the fact that, as much as we may like each other platonically, she doesn’t have any romantic interest in me. There are two […]

Question: You’re probably going to read this and think that it’s a terrible idea because having an affair is bad. But this married woman and I have been friends for a couple of years, and she recently told me that she and her husband have an open relationship, and that she would be open to […]

Question: I have a hard time understanding foreign accents, and I don’t know how to address the issue without making it super awkward. My landlady is Indonesian, and I sometimes I have a hard time understanding her English due to her heavy accent. Asking over and over for clarification clearly frustrates her and makes me […]

Question: Last year, I made a conscious decision to stop consuming porn. I stumbled across the argument that you can never be certain if the people being filmed are being coerced. This coupled with the realization that I am a nice guy was enough to make me feel too uncomfortable to continue consuming it. Recently […]

Question: My partner and I have been together 10+ years. We get along, have fun, and love each other immensely, but we no longer have sex. Part of the reason is that we each have experienced some medical issues over the past few years, but we also just don’t seem to have much sexual desire. […]

Question: My boyfriend is a masochist though I’m not a sadist. I very much enjoy pleasuring him, but I don’t actively get joy from causing pain. The only thing that bothers me about the whole situation is his use of the word “abuse” inreference to the consensual things that we do. I grew up in an extremely […]

Question: About a year ago, my partner became mildly friendly with an exchange student when he was at university. Although they weren’t great friends, this person phoned last week to let him know that she is coming to Bali and asked if she could stay with us for a couple of weeks. While I wasn’t happy […]

Question: I’ve been seeing this great guy for about 6 months. He’s sweet, smart, and ridiculously generous with his time and attention, and I like him a lot. All this makes me feel terrible about telling him to shut up about the angst he feels about his friend who’s moving back to her home country soon. […]